Office Depot Live Chat #2





 
And so continues my search for online shopping assistance at Office Depot.   I had this conversation through their online live customer service chat.  If you haven't already read my first Office Depot live customer service chat transcript, I would recommend doing so.Otherwise you may not have the proper context.  That can be found here.

Travis: Hi, my name is Travis. It will be my pleasure to assist you today.
 You: Hi Travis, This is Lieutenant Scott, how are you?
 Travis: HI Scott
 Travis: I am good , Hope you are doing good.
 You: Not so good Travis, not so good
 You: On Friday I spoke to one of your colleagues on OfficeDepot help
 Travis: I am really sorry for the any inconvenience.
 You: His name is Thompson, do you know him?
 You: Do you work with a Thompson?
 Travis: Yes, I will check on the previous chat
 You: Great!  So look at the previous chat.  You will see that  I ask Thompson a question about Urinal cakes.  I asked him which urinal cake had the best flavor since I had never had one before and needed some guidance
 You: I believe he told me to order a berry flavored urinal cake.
 You: So on Saturday I went to my local office depot and I purchased 12.  I went out with one of my friends from Nam
 You: and we had a few drinks and I said "My boy Thompson said these cakes are delicious,  let's eat some"  And we each ate three urinal cakes.
 You: Well it turns out you aren't supposed to eat urinal cakes
 You: They go in the toilet.
 You: Thompson failed to tell me this.
 Travis: I am really sorry for this inconvenience
 You: Did you know urinal cakes contain Para-dichlorobenzene in them? You're not supposed to eat that
 You: Hot brown rain showered out of my butt for 2 days
 You: I projectile vomited all over the restaurant we were drinking in
 You: It was a very classy steakhouse
 You: I am not allowed back
 You: How could someone provide me with such dangerous information? I could have died!
 You: I drank some water that wasn't purified once when I was 7 clicks south of Da Nang
 You: and my stomach was worse after the urinal cake
 Travis: I do apologize for the inconvenience  on behalf  of the previous agent and I am really sorry for the trouble.
 You: I think Office Depot should give me some sort of coupon, no?
 You: The whole incident cost me $500 out of pocket
 You: and my obamacare premiums are going up now
 You: It turns out there is some small writing on the back of my policy that says if I am hospitalized for eating a urinal cake, the agency is able to increase my premium by 50%
 You: they call it the idiot tax
 You: You have to help me, Travis!
 You: at least give me a coupon so I can get my next stapler at a discount
 Travis: I am truly sorry for the difficulty this has caused you
 Travis: In this regard I request you to contact your nearest medical dispensary and However for the whole inconvenience , I will help you with the online discount coupons and so that you can use that discount coupons for the purchase in online for the normal office supplies
 You: Thank you! Thank you Travis
 You: Please provide the coupons. I then have some questions to ask you
 You: about office depot products
 Travis: You are welcome, Please make use of this coupon code YDX7RQC4T482SW  $15 OFF   $75 OFF more purchase and also make use of this coupon code 20522050  $25 off $125
 You: Amazing!
 Travis: Thank you
 You: So Travis, after this whole urinal cake incident, I am incontinent.  My fragile bowels excrete a hot brown mist about every 45 minutes.  It's like Old Faithful
 You: I need some adult diapers
 You: Does Office Depot carry depends or attends adult diapers?  I would also take the generic off-brand office depot adult diaper brand
 You: if that's all you have
 Travis: One moment to check that for you
 You: Also, I know children diapers sometimes have sesame street characters on them - if you have any adult diapers with sponge bob on them
 You: that would really make my day
 You: It would be a welcome distraction from my broken anus
 Travis: Please check with this item Prevail® Specialty Size Briefs, Youth, 15"-22", Box Of 16 Item # 605158
 You: Is the 15-22" the size of the waist? Or the size of my manhood?
 You: My crankenshaft is definitely between 15-22 inches
 You: but my waist hasn't been that small since I was a boy bouncin' on my papa's knee
 You: Travis, are you still there?
 Travis: Sorry for the delay
 Travis: Please check with this item Protection Plus Super Protective Disposable Underwear, Small, 20 - 28", White, 22 Per Bag, Case Of 4 Bags Item # 629552
 You: Ok, perfect
 You: Travis i have some more questions but before we go on
 Travis: Yes, I am here to help you
 Travis: *you
 You: Instead of calling me Scott, can you call me "Grandpa Huggybear" for the rest of this conversation
 You: my friends call me that
 You: it makes me happy
 You: it makes me feel alive
 You: Travis, you say you are here to help but you are very slow to respond.
 Travis: Sorry for the delay.
 You: sorry for the delay.....
 You: "Sorry for the delay grandpa huggybear” you mean?
 Travis: Please note that this chat will be terminated due to inappropriate language.
 Travis: If you need further assistance, we're available to chat with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Thank you for choosing Office Depot.
 Travis has disconnected.

Kind of weird how the hot brown rain comments didn't bother Travis but as soon as I asked him to call me Grandpa Huggybear he had a conniption.  These customer service guys are in the Philippines.  Maybe it's just the cultural divide. I hope that one day as nations we can get past our differences.  I pray that one day Filipino men will feel feel comfortable calling Americans like me "Grandpa Huggybear" on the reg.  One day.  One day...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Customer Service Chats #4 I think Tony is Trying to Kill Me