Office Depot Live Chat #2
And so continues my search for online shopping assistance at Office Depot. I had this conversation through their online live customer service chat. If you haven't already read my first Office Depot live customer service chat transcript, I would recommend doing so.Otherwise you may not have the proper context. That can be found here.
Travis: Hi, my name is Travis. It will be my pleasure to assist you
today.
You: Hi Travis, This is Lieutenant Scott, how are you?
Travis: HI Scott
Travis: I am good , Hope you are doing good.
You: Not so good Travis, not so good
You: On Friday I spoke to one of your colleagues on OfficeDepot help
Travis: I am really sorry for the any inconvenience.
You: His name is Thompson, do you know him?
You: Do you work with a Thompson?
Travis: Yes, I will check on the previous chat
You: Great! So look at the previous chat. You will see that I ask Thompson a question about Urinal cakes. I asked him which urinal cake had the best flavor since I had never had one before and needed some guidance
You: I believe he told me to order a berry flavored urinal cake.
You: So on Saturday I went to my local office depot and I purchased 12. I went out with one of my friends from Nam
You: and we had a few drinks and I said "My boy Thompson said these cakes are delicious, let's eat some" And we each ate three urinal cakes.
You: Well it turns out you aren't supposed to eat urinal cakes
You: They go in the toilet.
You: Thompson failed to tell me this.
Travis: I am really sorry for this inconvenience
You: Did you know urinal cakes contain Para-dichlorobenzene in them? You're not supposed to eat that
You: Hot brown rain showered out of my butt for 2 days
You: I projectile vomited all over the restaurant we were drinking in
You: It was a very classy steakhouse
You: I am not allowed back
You: How could someone provide me with such dangerous information? I could have died!
You: I drank some water that wasn't purified once when I was 7 clicks south of Da Nang
You: and my stomach was worse after the urinal cake
Travis: I do apologize for the inconvenience on behalf of the previous agent and I am really sorry for the trouble.
You: I think Office Depot should give me some sort of coupon, no?
You: The whole incident cost me $500 out of pocket
You: and my obamacare premiums are going up now
You: It turns out there is some small writing on the back of my policy that says if I am hospitalized for eating a urinal cake, the agency is able to increase my premium by 50%
You: they call it the idiot tax
You: You have to help me, Travis!
You: at least give me a coupon so I can get my next stapler at a discount
Travis: I am truly sorry for the difficulty this has caused you
Travis: In this regard I request you to contact your nearest medical dispensary and However for the whole inconvenience , I will help you with the online discount coupons and so that you can use that discount coupons for the purchase in online for the normal office supplies
You: Thank you! Thank you Travis
You: Please provide the coupons. I then have some questions to ask you
You: about office depot products
Travis: You are welcome, Please make use of this coupon code YDX7RQC4T482SW $15 OFF $75 OFF more purchase and also make use of this coupon code 20522050 $25 off $125
You: Amazing!
Travis: Thank you
You: So Travis, after this whole urinal cake incident, I am incontinent. My fragile bowels excrete a hot brown mist about every 45 minutes. It's like Old Faithful
You: I need some adult diapers
You: Does Office Depot carry depends or attends adult diapers? I would also take the generic off-brand office depot adult diaper brand
You: if that's all you have
Travis: One moment to check that for you
You: Also, I know children diapers sometimes have sesame street characters on them - if you have any adult diapers with sponge bob on them
You: that would really make my day
You: It would be a welcome distraction from my broken anus
Travis: Please check with this item Prevail® Specialty Size Briefs, Youth, 15"-22", Box Of 16 Item # 605158
You: Is the 15-22" the size of the waist? Or the size of my manhood?
You: My crankenshaft is definitely between 15-22 inches
You: but my waist hasn't been that small since I was a boy bouncin' on my papa's knee
You: Travis, are you still there?
Travis: Sorry for the delay
Travis: Please check with this item Protection Plus Super Protective Disposable Underwear, Small, 20 - 28", White, 22 Per Bag, Case Of 4 Bags Item # 629552
You: Ok, perfect
You: Travis i have some more questions but before we go on
Travis: Yes, I am here to help you
Travis: *you
You: Instead of calling me Scott, can you call me "Grandpa Huggybear" for the rest of this conversation
You: my friends call me that
You: it makes me happy
You: it makes me feel alive
You: Travis, you say you are here to help but you are very slow to respond.
Travis: Sorry for the delay.
You: sorry for the delay.....
You: "Sorry for the delay grandpa huggybear” you mean?
Travis: Please note that this chat will be terminated due to inappropriate language.
Travis: If you need further assistance, we're available to chat with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Thank you for choosing Office Depot.
Travis has disconnected.
You: Hi Travis, This is Lieutenant Scott, how are you?
Travis: HI Scott
Travis: I am good , Hope you are doing good.
You: Not so good Travis, not so good
You: On Friday I spoke to one of your colleagues on OfficeDepot help
Travis: I am really sorry for the any inconvenience.
You: His name is Thompson, do you know him?
You: Do you work with a Thompson?
Travis: Yes, I will check on the previous chat
You: Great! So look at the previous chat. You will see that I ask Thompson a question about Urinal cakes. I asked him which urinal cake had the best flavor since I had never had one before and needed some guidance
You: I believe he told me to order a berry flavored urinal cake.
You: So on Saturday I went to my local office depot and I purchased 12. I went out with one of my friends from Nam
You: and we had a few drinks and I said "My boy Thompson said these cakes are delicious, let's eat some" And we each ate three urinal cakes.
You: Well it turns out you aren't supposed to eat urinal cakes
You: They go in the toilet.
You: Thompson failed to tell me this.
Travis: I am really sorry for this inconvenience
You: Did you know urinal cakes contain Para-dichlorobenzene in them? You're not supposed to eat that
You: Hot brown rain showered out of my butt for 2 days
You: I projectile vomited all over the restaurant we were drinking in
You: It was a very classy steakhouse
You: I am not allowed back
You: How could someone provide me with such dangerous information? I could have died!
You: I drank some water that wasn't purified once when I was 7 clicks south of Da Nang
You: and my stomach was worse after the urinal cake
Travis: I do apologize for the inconvenience on behalf of the previous agent and I am really sorry for the trouble.
You: I think Office Depot should give me some sort of coupon, no?
You: The whole incident cost me $500 out of pocket
You: and my obamacare premiums are going up now
You: It turns out there is some small writing on the back of my policy that says if I am hospitalized for eating a urinal cake, the agency is able to increase my premium by 50%
You: they call it the idiot tax
You: You have to help me, Travis!
You: at least give me a coupon so I can get my next stapler at a discount
Travis: I am truly sorry for the difficulty this has caused you
Travis: In this regard I request you to contact your nearest medical dispensary and However for the whole inconvenience , I will help you with the online discount coupons and so that you can use that discount coupons for the purchase in online for the normal office supplies
You: Thank you! Thank you Travis
You: Please provide the coupons. I then have some questions to ask you
You: about office depot products
Travis: You are welcome, Please make use of this coupon code YDX7RQC4T482SW $15 OFF $75 OFF more purchase and also make use of this coupon code 20522050 $25 off $125
You: Amazing!
Travis: Thank you
You: So Travis, after this whole urinal cake incident, I am incontinent. My fragile bowels excrete a hot brown mist about every 45 minutes. It's like Old Faithful
You: I need some adult diapers
You: Does Office Depot carry depends or attends adult diapers? I would also take the generic off-brand office depot adult diaper brand
You: if that's all you have
Travis: One moment to check that for you
You: Also, I know children diapers sometimes have sesame street characters on them - if you have any adult diapers with sponge bob on them
You: that would really make my day
You: It would be a welcome distraction from my broken anus
Travis: Please check with this item Prevail® Specialty Size Briefs, Youth, 15"-22", Box Of 16 Item # 605158
You: Is the 15-22" the size of the waist? Or the size of my manhood?
You: My crankenshaft is definitely between 15-22 inches
You: but my waist hasn't been that small since I was a boy bouncin' on my papa's knee
You: Travis, are you still there?
Travis: Sorry for the delay
Travis: Please check with this item Protection Plus Super Protective Disposable Underwear, Small, 20 - 28", White, 22 Per Bag, Case Of 4 Bags Item # 629552
You: Ok, perfect
You: Travis i have some more questions but before we go on
Travis: Yes, I am here to help you
Travis: *you
You: Instead of calling me Scott, can you call me "Grandpa Huggybear" for the rest of this conversation
You: my friends call me that
You: it makes me happy
You: it makes me feel alive
You: Travis, you say you are here to help but you are very slow to respond.
Travis: Sorry for the delay.
You: sorry for the delay.....
You: "Sorry for the delay grandpa huggybear” you mean?
Travis: Please note that this chat will be terminated due to inappropriate language.
Travis: If you need further assistance, we're available to chat with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Thank you for choosing Office Depot.
Travis has disconnected.
Kind of weird how the hot brown rain comments didn't bother Travis but as soon as I asked him to call me Grandpa Huggybear he had a conniption. These customer service guys are in the Philippines. Maybe it's just the cultural divide. I hope that one day as nations we can get past our differences. I pray that one day Filipino men will feel feel comfortable calling Americans like me "Grandpa Huggybear" on the reg. One day. One day...
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